Then, a little while ago, we saw a moped go past with a single ultraviolet strip light under it. A moped. A 50cc, whining little moped. With a glowing purple haze under it. It was like Shameless meets Star Wars, and it made us sick in our mouth a little. From that moment on, we’ve always been a little more openly critical of things that are unnecessarily flashy, that are so offensively in your face that you feel like you’ve been violated. And the sad thing is we find this happening more and more in the mobile phone world. External speakers that are as loud as our (admittedly terrible) home stereo. Screens that are so big you could eat your dinner off them. Luckily, not everyone in the world has been infected by this madness. Take the Nokia 6700, for example. This phone (check out Nokia’s official page for a taster) oozes class in a way that that young chap on the glow-arsed scooter could never understand. Even if he did drop out of his JSA-scamming and went back to school. The Nokia 6700 classic has as many impressive specs as the best of those dinner-plate smartphones but it doesn’t feel the need to push them in your face like a pair of page 3 fun bags. (Have a look at this Nokia 6700 review if you want to see the fun bags though.)

So there we have it. So if you’ve ever considered installing said strip lights into your vehicle, perhaps, like a long and fulfilling life, you don’t deserve this phone. If you haven’t, then have a little look at this video to see if it’s something you do want.